You know when you can't bring yourself to do anything worthwhile and you end up chasing your tail until the monotony bites your ass and you finally say "enough, now." I can't seem to get enough of that feeling lately. I've been trying to define "a happy life" for myself this week and I think I know what has to be done for a definition to become real. [I want to mention that I just stopped typing mid-sentence to listen to "Fortress" for the...6th time in the past 9 hours or so. Pinback is growing on me like ivy on brick.] I want to be unattached; to know many genuine people and not need any of them. I want to move around a lot. I want to feel my roots tugging on me, pulling me back once a year, but not for long. I want to be a decorated crab [do the research]. I keep feeling this tiny urge to move to Seattle. I have no reason to, except that I think it might be a great place for me, though I have no evidence. Blame it on lack of knowledge, I just can't figure out what to do. So I'll put it off another couple years.